Saint O'Doran's Day

Saint Patrick's day is a bittersweet celebration amongst the Doran clan. It's the day we light a single candle and remember Jason O'Doran, Ireland's true hero.

While it's true Patrick drove out all the snakes from the Emerald Isle, her inhabitants were faced with the overwhelming ecological disaster of being overrun with rodents. Rodents so thick in fact, graneries were depleted & hardly a drop of Stout could be found.

In this great time of crisis O'Doran, a humble farmer and community organizer, led the people to collect what little grain was left. With it they lured the filthy creatures to an enormous vat of Stout where the vile vectors drowned. The resulting green, noxious liquid proved to be a remarkable fertilizer, and within a few months the granaries were full, the children were singing and the men resumed their happy, drunken brawling.

Alas, in the insuing year long party (and through the clever marketing efforts of Patrick's supporters), knowledge of the true events were forgotten by all but the O'Dorans themselves.